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Get the latest beauty and fashion news, trends, and more—straight to your inbox! Need to know how to use sex toys? In Sex Talk with Briony Smith, we snag the top experts every month to answer your I-would-only-whisper-this-to-a-friend questions. How can I loosen up and enjoy it? No wonder you feel a little shy: Where are our oral sex role models?!
The Motion Pictures Association of America is famous for slapping films that realistically depict cunnilingus with an NC rating. This lack of positive media portrayals can have a very real effect on our oral sex lives IRL. This is mostly a straight thing, by the way. In the queer community, oral sex is often celebrated as the main event. When it comes to women who have sex with men, however, cunnilingus can be an awkward topic.
Receiving oral sex can make you feel very vulnerable, especially so for people who have experienced sexual trauma, or some trans folks who may feel shy about their genitals. If you feel like you need some extra support, schedule a few sessions with a body-positive sex therapist to help put you at ease. Screw that. The key is to go slowly. Sometimes, our vaginas do smell. A bit of musk is A-okay and sexy! If you notice a smell that is out of the ordinary for you, get it checked out by your GP or gyno. That way, you can go into your oral sex adventure with a clean bill of health.
And having a shower beforehand can help set your mind at ease about any nervous sweats. Get out a mirror and familiarize yourself with your body. Spend some solo time with your sex toys and figure out your favourite sensations. Boodram recommends checking out online resource OMGYes , which has good tips on identifying—and describing to partners—the different types of pleasure you enjoy. Incorporate them into your solo routine. Try some porn that features women getting oral, too—seek out films with female creative teams behind them.
That position will be different for many people. Let go of any guilt about enjoying this time as looooong as you want. Instead of stressing about how long it takes to come, try to stay present and enjoy the sensations. Another way to enjoy the experience more is to lend a hand.
Pull your labia aside or press on your mons. Give a demo on how you like to touch yourself so your partner can mimic it with their tongue. Switch positions partway through. Not only will it connect you more to the process, but it could feel amazing. Not getting there quite yet? The key is to remember that your partner wants to make you feel good. A great partner will be open to—and even excited for—guidance on how to turn you on or make you come. Can we pick this up again next time and see how I feel? How Can I Enjoy It? More Sex Talk. MORE life. Load More.Seeking oral satisfaction
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